You can tell a lot about someone from how they react when caught in a lie.
Is that too obvious? Dunno, but that thought was going ’round and ’round in my head last night when I was trying to sleep. Kept bouncing back and forth between my personal life and the national news. OK, mostly my personal life. Mostly, but not completely.
Can you trust someone who reacts in anger when caught in a lie? Can you trust someone who lies without remorse? Someone who dismisses lies by claiming that the subject in question isn’t any of your business, anyway, so why should it matter?
I can still see her expression, one of extreme annoyance, unable to make eye contact with me, brow furrowed, spitting out her words, angrily stabbing at the food on her plate. Then a blank expression, a mask covering it all up, as she regained control of herself and tried to deflect the conversation away from the subject at hand. When I brought the topic back up, her defenses came up and she turned it into an attack on me, trying to make me think that I should feel guilty for calling her on her untruthful behavior. Her charm, her manner and way of speaking… almost convince me, in the moment, that it’s not something I should have brought up.
Then I remember that the topic at hand is, in fact, trust. Can I trust this creature on any topic, if I know she is quite willing to hide the facts from me?
Why would she lie, in any case, on subjects where it’s easy for me to find out the truth?
Shouldn’t she realize that it’s just as bad to lie to someone else, if I know about it? That doesn’t make her more trustworthy, to know that she’s untruthful to someone with whom she claims to have a “committed” relationship. That only undermines her trustworthiness even more.
Lying isn’t a good sign. Lying is not the way one builds any kind of relationship, whether a professional one, a friendship, or a deeper relationship.
I can’t ever forget this.