Joss Whedon is helming a remake of Wonder Woman?

There’s some bogus MTV “poll” on who Joss should cast that has its results rigged to give one of three answers: Catharine Zeta Jones, Angelina Jolie, Queen Latifah (pardon me for being non-PC but WTF?!) and “unknown actress”. No, I’m not gonna link to the poll; I already said it was bogus.

What a lot of people don’t realize is that the creator of Wonder Woman, Dr. William Moulton Marston writing under the pseudonym of Charles Moulton, was, well, into bondage and submission — which is why in every single comic he wrote, Wonder Woman ended up being bound somehow. And loving it. Often, other women and men were bound up somehow, too; the most obvious way being with Wonder Woman’s golden lasso.

Dr. Marston was a fascinating character. Inventor of the pseudo-scientific “lie detector”, a feminist theorist, and apparently happily polygamous, fathering and raising two children with two different women. He claimed to have created Wonder Woman in an effort to get boys to enjoy being bound and dominated by women:

“Wonder Woman satisfies the subconscious, elaborately disguised desire of males to be mastered by a woman who loves them.”


But, apparently, the woman-dominated society Dr. Marston attempted to create by means of comic books did not come to fruition. Even the sight of Halle Berry in a leather dominatrix outfit with a whip didn’t save the truly awful “Catwoman” from dying a horrible box office death, f’rinstance.

So casting Wonder Woman, a modern one, at least, is a tricky proposition. Sure, the obvious choice is Angelina Jolie, but, well, in my opinion she’s a little too into the whole B/D thing. Not that that wouldn’t be fun, mind you.

There’s lots of non-obvious choices, or should I say, less obvious choices. But for me, there’s really only one actress on my personal list of “wouldn’t mind being tied up by”.

My vote? I’d write in Kate Beckinsale:

Rawr

…I’m sorry. What were we talking about? Oh, right, Wonder Woman. Yeah, OK, Kate looks better in black leather/spandex/vinyl, I suppose, than the bright red-and-gold of a Wonder Woman costume. I just lost my mind there for a second.

…c’mon, you can’t tell me you didn’t see that one coming?