Shhhhh… I’m in the middle of trimming Smacky’s claws.

Normally when I do this, I try to get it over with quickly, which always backfires in a way that leaves me wearing gloves and a long-sleeved shirt to work the next day in order to avoid the “Oh, my god! What happened to your HANDS and your ARMS?” comments from coworkers.

But no, I’ve figured out a slightly easier way.

If I sit in front of the computer long enough, he will come over and peacefully fall asleep in my lap. Usually with one leg or another sticking out oddly. I first noticed this (the arm-sticking-out part) a couple of nights ago, and didn’t until just tonight realize what it meant.

What it meant was that, if I had the nail clippers handy, I could probably, slowly, cautiously, and carefully, trim the claws on that paw without him noticing much. And if he did notice, he’s in such a mellow mellow mood that he wouldn’t do too much damage to, well, me.

When he does notice, he gets agitated, then wanders off, attacks one of his toys or watches the birds outside, calms down over the course of 10 minutes or so, and then wanders back, eventually curling up in my lap like nothing’s happened.

I’ve got his front left and rear left paws done, and one of the claws on his right front paw so far. I’m doing pretty good. He just finished cleaning himself and laid his head down, so as soon as I finish this post, I’ll get to work on the remaining claws.

Patience, it is said, is a virtue. Along with preventing blood loss from thousands of tiny cuts.