I used to think that the worst thing to try to do while drunk was take my contact lenses out. Trying to get the motor control to successfully pull out tiny flexible pieces of plastic from my eyes without losing them or damaging them (either my contacts or my eyes) just seemed a near-impossible feat. So every time I’ve been successful has seemed like a little miracle.
Which is why, tonight, before I settled in with a good book, some Storm Large on the teevee, and my old pal Johnny Walker Red, I was smart enough to take my contacts out first.
By the way, Storm rocked the house hard. Of course.
But on my way to bed, my lack of recent vacuuming brought about a whole new level of excruciating.
I got a sliver in my big toe. Ow. Ow, ow. Owie.
Yeah, just try to take one of those out while buzzed.
Update
I did it! Yay, me! I’m king of the world!