A traditionalist

People, people, people. Please.

I’m not going to call anyone out, but listen. It’s not dress like a pirate, write like a pirate, or any variation thereof.

It’s Talk Like A Pirate Day.

From the official FAQ:

Q. What do I wear on Talk Like a Pirate Day?

A. You know, the Pirate Guys get this question a lot, so pardon us if we sound just a little testy.

It’s TALK like a Pirate Day, not DRESS like a pirate.

You can certainly dress up in pirate garb if you want to, but that seems like a lot of trouble to us. Besides, there already is a Dress Like a Pirate Day. It’s called Halloween. We are not huge fans of costume parties (well, maybe we’re huge, but we’re not fans) and tend to go with what’s comfortable.

Ol’ Chumbucket is partial to Hawaiian shirts, the gaudier the better, while Cap’n Slappy prefers the “classic look,” i.e., any T-shirt he finds in his laundry that doesn’t smell too obvious.

If ye’re still at a loss, visit our Pirate Booty store at cafepress.com, where ye’ll find a wide variety of excellent garb to help ye commemorate International Talk Like A Pirate Day.

So get with the talking, already. Sheesh.