I like to joke that I’m an alcoholic.

Wait – what’s the difference between an alcoholic and a drunk?

Us drunks don’t have to go to those fucking meetings.

It’s mostly a joke. I don’t actually drink that often. And the number of times I’ve been so drunk I passed out and got sick in the last several years is exactly once (which was an awesome Hallowe’en party and I will definitely be back again next year! Right Ken?)

But even so, I do like to drink, and when I’m on my game, I can drink a lot for my size.

Still, I think I may have found the perfect accessory, one that will both enhance my drunkish reputation, and help me maintain my drinkin’ boundaries.

Behold the iBreath: a plug-in breathalyzer for iPhone!

How cool is that?

If you’re wondering what to get me for Christmas/my birthday… add this to the list.

If you’re not wondering, well, then, just click through and read about it.