Category: Movies

Kevin called me as my work day unwound. We talked about all sorts of stuff and decided we’d have to get together next week to hang out and do fun, unplanned things. He talked about “Lost”, which he and his wife are now watching, starting from the first season, and working their way up. I mostly listened, and I tried very hard not to give anything away.

We also talked about movies. I mentioned seeing “Michael Clayton” and he talked about seeing “No Country for Old Men”. He kept talking about the ending, without giving anything away, but said that it ended rather abruptly.

After I left work, I had to go downtown to pick up some stuff before going home. And I decided on a whim, to go see a movie. And of course, I saw “No Country for Old Men”.

I liked it. The dialogue is poetic and stylized but entertaining. The character of Anton Chigurh is… well, he’s evil. Unstoppable, relentless. I have a theory about the ending. I can’t wait to share it with Kevin.

But I have to say that of the three Best Pictures that I’ve seen, I liked “Michael Clayton” best.

I want to write a longer post about each of them, but just so I can make a note, I saw two movies the past two days.

Last night I saw “Persepolis”, the movie belonging to the trailer I posted earlier in the week. I recommend it highly. Made me think very much about politics and how it impacts everyday lives.

Tonight I saw “Michael Clayton”, the Oscar-nominated film with George Clooney’s Oscar-nominated acting, and possibly many other Oscar-nomination-festooned besides. Saw it with Tracy and Gina. Very much worth it. Intricately plotted, sensitively acted.

Saw the monster movie home video “Cloverfield” last night. I followed most everyone’s advice and didn’t read any reviews before I saw it.

And so should you.

Saw “Sweeney Todd” today with Athena, who awesomely showed up even though she’s still obviously under the weather. Take care of yourself! Rest up ‘n’ stuff.

I loved the movie, but I’m an uncritical fanboy when it comes to Johnny Depp and Tim Burton. I’ve said I would watch Depp read a software EULA for two hours. “Sweeney Todd” was far more entertaining than that. It’s a closely constructed tale swiftly told, and Burton’s direction and visual style is a perfect fit. The story has what Kevin calls a “button” ending. I’m not giving anything away, am I?

Yes, there’s blood. Bright red cartoon blood. Be warned.

I see a lot of movies. I can’t, now, go back and list what movies I saw in 2007 due to a hard drive failure (dammit – make sure your backups are working) but I’m going to attempt to post about every theatrical movie I see in 2008.

This past weekend I saw the Sing-Along “Grease” with Tracy and her friend Gina. It was fun and cheesy… and the costume contest beforehand had some very sexy “Slutty Sandys” which almost made the entire thing worth it. As a movie… “Grease” is not among my favorites. But as audience participation, it was a blast. I’m completely comfortable in my heterosexuality to admit that.

I also saw “Charlie Wilson’s War” which was a delight. Entertaining political comedy. Rep. Wilson sounds like the kind of politician I’d like to be: liberal, single, boozehound, womanizer. His press agent’s response to a reporter asking if he’d ever been to rehab was, “Rep. Wilson will not go to rehab because they do not serve alcohol there.” But, seriously, he was trying to do a good thing after touring the refugee camps in Pakistan. Tom Hanks and Philip Seymour Hoffman both are amazing to watch, though I give the edge to Hoffman.

I saw “Ultraviolet” over the weekend.

One word review: dumb.

Longer rant-y review:

Take it from me, I’m a guy who loves all kinds of movies. No matter how bad, I can always find something good to say about it. Like, say “Howard the Duck” – oh, wait, I was out of town the week that was actually in the theaters. I never actually saw it. I swear.

And then there are movies that are so bad, they become fun again. An example would be, oh, just about any movie that Joel and the ‘bots were forced to watch on “Mystery Science Theater 3000”. Man, I miss those guys. (Sure, Mike was OK – but Joel was the bestest).

So where does that leave the vampire – oh, excuse me, “hemophage” – story of “Ultraviolet”?

Well… it had Mila Jovovich in it. And she was naked, once, briefly.

Unfortunately, even if Ms. Jovovich were naked for the entire running length of the movie it would not redeem this stupid movie.

Get this for stupid: The opening scene has Ms. Jovovich’s character posing as a courier picking up a very special package. The guards and defenses give her every test imaginiable to check if she is human or “hemophage” – ID and papers checked, DNA scans, blood scans, retinal scans, chemical baths, everything, all 100% unadulterated techno-babble-filled dialogue showing that these guys mean business and do not take their duties lightly. She passes test after test after test… when it’s obvious to everyone in the theater that she is, in fact, a “hemophage”.

But, uh, do they ever look at her teeth? You know.. the fangs in her mouth? Wouldn’t that be a big tip-off? Apparently not.

And, of course, they have to come up with some techno-babble reason for just why she then turns out to be, to the surprise of no one in the theater, one ‘a them there “hemophages”. Argh. Much better to have simply had her blast her way inside.

There’s so much to pick apart in this movie that it might, actually, be fun with the right group of ‘bots – er, I mean, people. Booze might help, too. But don’t waste your money on it in the theater, it’ll be in the DVD bargain bins soon enough.

This just in: 2006 is now officially the year of the hot vampires.

I know I’ve already posted about “Underworld: Evolution”, due to be released January 20th. I got all drool-y over the thought of Kate Beckinsale once again wearing leather bodysuits and being vampirish.

Imagine my shock at finding out this morning about “Ultraviolet”, a vampire movie featuring Milla Jovovich in leather bodysuits. G’head. Imagine it. Oh, here, I’ll help you:

Do you think the producers of “Ultraviolet” chose a movie title that will deliberately confuse viewers looking for the “Underworld” sequel? Duh.

Now imagine a Kate Beckinsale / Milla Jovovich vampire-gun-kata cage match. I know, I know… you can’t. Because your head exploded like 3 minutes ago, already. Poor thing.

Of course Quentin Tarrantino wants to re-cut the Kill Bill movies back into one flick… because he’s an attention whore. Duh.

And, yes, I’d go see it again.

…what?

I saw a lot of movies this year. Good and not-so-good. Maybe before the end of the year I’ll post a list of all the movies I saw, with a mini-review of each. Wow, that’s a great idea. I wonder why no one’s ever thought of that before?

But this post is mainly to congratulate myself for having completely avoided every single movie on Rotten Tomatoes’ list of Top 10 Worst Movies of 2005.

And especially for having avoided the temptation to stare at Jessica Alba’s ass, but be burned by “Into the Blue” anyway. I got to see her enough this year in good movies, like “Sin City”.